~iT's a rEaL PleAsUre~

I have the difficulty to let go things.
I am admitted that fact gracefully.

------

Just about the perfect timing to finish another great book in my life,
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.
After finished, i still feel like it can't be. Not the story itself, just the feeling of finishing it. I feel it's hard to let her go.

Have you ever feel that?
You are attached to thing that you feel so comfortable to be with. To read, to imagine, to have around even you know that you wont' have time to read. It's just the feeling of holding and having it near at your reach at anytime. It just builds the comfort likes you have a good friend with.
Each book should come with the label:
"Caution: This contains the things that could change your life."

It's just like your relationship just ended. The pretty good one. As you spend most of your free time with her. You feel like you dont' want to do any other things just only to be with her. To explore and be explored. Then when it comes to the ending line, you just softly kiss her with your satisfied look. Whispering with smile in your voice near to her ear
'thank you, it's been a real pleasure'
Just that...


Love ya,
xxx


Good bites of that relationship:
'Freedom: To ask nothing, To expect nothing, To depend on nothing'

'Nothing. The absolute nothing. Well, your body moves but that's all. The other, the thing insides you. Your soul - your soul doesn't exist. No will, no meaning. There is no real you anymore.'

~miGht noT be tHe rigHT tiMe~

Definately should not be the time for me to write this up.
It's almost 2 am. after the party and i'm drunk.

Still i feel like writing though.

Lately, i am in the position of not really know the exact line of where should i be for communication. I mostly be just in the end of both sides, extreme silent or extreme talking.
At some point i just feel that i need to express myself. I just can't seem to be able to stop talking.
Yes, it seems to be me totally of being non-stop talker. For the truth, sometimes i feel like i can't even stand myself. I just want to know how to shut myself up. So far that doesn't seem to work though.

At the same time (lately), i'm also put myself very deep into my thought. Not only when i'm alone though. Sometimes i just build up the wall around me, the big transparency glass wall. It will keep me for myself. Not letting me one and neither to come in. Sometimes i do afraid that i will like it so much and stay in there too long. I just dont' want to be like the person that act likes s/he does care of thing around but actually doesn't. I am so fear of becoming that!!

Just would like to learn the point in between for that line.

Love ya,
xxx

Capture of the day:
"If you believe in love at first sight, you will never stop looking."
---
Movie: CLOSER


Weaw J.